


On the Musings of Dating a Vampire

by Saniika



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Gardens, Horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 06:26:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14099238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saniika/pseuds/Saniika
Summary: Mila accepted a Tinder date for a Halloween party just so that she could feel like a normal human for once in her thousand years of life. She isn't sure if it's the best or the worst idea she's ever followed through on.





	On the Musings of Dating a Vampire

**Author's Note:**

> Mini-Bang (Bing) fic for the LLYBB! It was a quick, 2-week project with random teams of contributors as practice for the real deal! This was super fun to do and I'm so glad I got to work with these lovely, talented people! :)
> 
> Fic by [Saniika](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saniika/pseuds/Saniika) and myself. (Sanii did most of it though and I'm so proud of her talents and skills!)  
> Art by [Grey.](https://archiveofourown.org/users/greygerbil/pseuds/greygerbil)
> 
> (1900s compliments by [Daffy.](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ICanSeeClearlyNow/pseuds/ICanSeeClearlyNow))

“What a beautiful night to die! Wouldn’t you say so?” Georgi exclaimed in character, his obnoxiously long cape trailing around him as he twirled around, his grin flashing plastic fangs that glowed in the dark. The edge of the cloth caught on the bushes, causing him to lose his balance, tugging at the branches indignantly.

“Indeed…” Mila muttered, feigning amusement.

Georgi freed himself and left Mila’s side for once, enjoying the sights, and she had finally some moment to look at her phone. He had practically been glued to her side the whole evening; ever since she arrived to party, her date felt extremely responsible for taking care of her comfort and ensuring her safety.

She turned her back on him so she could take out her phone and furiously type away on the small screen.

_Why did I think this was a good idea?_ **_:Mila_ **

**_Yuri:_ ** _Don’t ask me, hag. You wouldn’t listen. I’ve told you so. Humans are just portable walking blood containers. Not dates!_

_I had no idea he’d turn out… so, so…_ **_:Mila_ **

**_Yuri:_ ** _Count Chocula? Mr. Alucard?_

_You didn’t have to rub it in you know!_ **_:Mila_ **

_... He’s worse._ **_:Mila_ **

**_Yuri:_ ** _So, what’s the problem? Just go back to treating him like tomato juice and it’s solved! Or is it that you actually_

**_Yuri:_ ** _WTF. YOU LIKE HIM!! I’ve gotta see this!_

_SHUT UP! You’re my cousin, I thought we stick together!_ **_:Mila_ **

_DO NOT COME OVER, I’VE GOT THIS._ **_:Mila_ **

_I’m… I’m working on it, ok?_ **_:Mila_ **

**_Yuri:_ ** _Whatever. Don’t come crying to me later. I’ve got the thing going on with Beka._

“Demoiselle, are you feeling well?”

Unfortunately the moment of reprieve was gone, since her date turned his attention to her once more. Worry was clear on his handsome face when he didn’t hear her reply. He looked tortured the whole time Mila was in his company.

She didn’t care much about whether he was worried or happy. Yet it became quickly troublesome when the tall man grabbed her hand in a firm grasp, reading her face for any signs of distress.

“Shall I escort you inside and fetch you some refreshments? Can you walk?” He asked, concern laced in his voice.

Georgi was the last type she managed to narrow down to on Tinder. All Mila wanted was a quick, convenient date for the party; a simple unproblematic human with whom she wouldn’t have to trouble herself. Simply said, she wanted to spend an evening with another being without extinguishing their life.

Her fangs were itching to pierce flesh, even though she wasn’t hungry.

Mila was just getting bored. And when that happened she got the stupidest ideas. At least that’s what Yakov had said each time he scolded her.

“Ah, I.. why, yes! I do feel a little dizzy now that you mention it,” Mila remarked, “maybe we can sit down..?” She vaguely gestured around herself and touched her temples, feigning that she was unwell.

The guy was just utterly useless. If she was on the hunt, he would be dead by now. She wouldn’t even have to say hello or come up with some pretense to lure him into the darkness.

The thing was— Georgi was even more melodramatic than his Tinder profile led her to believe. At first she thought he was just trying to be funny, parodying romance novels, so Mila didn’t think twice. She needed a date for the Halloween party and the guy was there and willing. She had been looking forward to it, spending a whole five minutes in a costume shop only to decide on a Josie and the Pussycats costume. Her fangs could be disguised as feline part of the getup and nothing could go wrong.

It was supposed to be fun. It was supposed to make her forget what she was for a little while.

Oh, how wrong she was. Her date, Mr. Georgi Popovich, waited for her at the gate to Lerovich mansion in a vampire costume. A _vampire costume_ , of all things.

Now, Mila was one for jokes and could make fun out of the situation— he did look quite dashing with his pristine white shirt with ruffles and chic violet waistcoat that accentuated his lithe body. He kept himself well and knew how to show off his charm. But all that was appealing about him ended there.

Striking, deep blue makeup couldn’t save her from feeling like he was mocking her with his whole getup. He either watched too many Bela Lugosi movies or he didn’t try to hide his Russian accent. Georgi was completely immersed in his vampire persona. Talk, gestures and mannerism— all in tune with the period she was turned in. What was worse, however, was that he reminded her of Mila’s obnoxious old fashioned uncle. She didn’t like to be treated as a damsel in distress, but how he handled her just left her speechless.

He was… corny. Incredibly corny. When he proposed a walk in the garden to “enjoy the crisp night air in lovely company,” Mila didn’t think twice. Perhaps her date would turn into a free convenient meal after all.

He led her to a place where the willow trees opened a clear view on the night sky. The Lerovich family didn’t spare expenses and made sure the infamous Halloween party measured up to its fame. The garden was turned into a graveyard, broken tombstones all situated around walking trail. It could easily pass for a rundown graveyard.

He held onto her hand to make sure she didn’t faint and looked around for a place where she could rest. He released her for a bit when he spread his cape over the stone bench and carefully led her to sit down.

Georgi’s worry and attention seemed so genuine, she momentarily forgot how irritating she found him a minute before. He was…nice. Maybe it was only a stupid elaborate scheme to make a pass on her but he made it come off so casual. She really did feel like a lady in his company despite his awkward tackiness.

“Madam Babicheva, are you comfortable? Not too cold I hope?” Georgi looked Mila over cautiously. “The lovely feline costume is very charming but perhaps leaving you a little underdressed for the nightly temperature?” The moment they sat down, he scooted away to a respective distance.

The empty space between them was a little jarring. Mila wasn’t sure if she wanted to inch closer because she wanted to give him a try or a bite.

“I’m quite ok, thank you. Perhaps a little chilly though?” Mila moved a bit towards him, leaning on his shoulder. Just give him another chance, Mila. “Would you warm me up a little?”

Georgi pulled at the edge of his cape, encasing her in it but put his arm behind her back with minimal pressure. With the other, he took her hand and kissed the air above her fingers with reverence. Mila felt his warm breath waft over her skin and his deep baritone fell even lower than usual.

“Of course, Demoiselle, the light of my life. You’re my sun, moon and stars for tonight. Just give orders and I’ll deliver. My only wish is to worship you and strew rose petals in your path.”

Oh. God. Nope. She just couldn't. Na-ah.

It took incredible amount of composure to muster a decent half smile and not a disgusted face. Georgi was watching her with attentive, lowered eyelids. She hid her face in the valley between his neck and clavicle, just barely suppressing laughter that was keeping her away from ending him. He must have mistaken it for her shivering and thus he wrapped his arm around her waist tightly, keeping her close but upright. His scent tickled her nostrils— good god, even his fragrance was old fashioned like aged wine from Yakov’s cellar, mixed with hints of mahogany.

“Would you really do that for me?” She licked her lips, her tongue’s edge catching the barest swipe over his skin.

“I adore the very ground you tread upon. I could walk the whole earth and there wouldn’t be any better one for me.” Georgi swallowed, trembling as he turned his head away. When her hand slid over his inner thigh, he jolted under her touch. His action brought up the beast in her, the hunger she kept on the leash. His sudden coyness didn’t help to keep it in check. She pressed fully on his side and brought his wrist to her mouth.

“Ahaha! Demoiselle, you are my Sheba, I want to bite into you like the freshest tomato. You trump everyone in this garden.” Georgi chuckled nervously and flinched as Mila gave a wet kiss to his palm and nibbled the thin skin with her fangs.

She paused.

Did he… just call her a tomato?

Oh. My. God. Dumb as a doornail!

She almost choked, once more hiding her face into his shoulder. Yet his hands gently pushed against her shoulders and Mila could have sworn he forgot how to speak for a moment.

“Ah, I, um. I appreciate this a lot, but. I don’t go this far on a first date,” Georgi stumbled through his apology, holding her back ever so slightly. “I’m looking for a stable serious relationship.”

So, so sweet and pure! She had to press her face on his neck, just to keep from laughing.

Well, Georgi wasn’t wrong even about her— if it was an attempt to lure him and take away the attention from her real objective. This man, this silly human, was just so precious and Mila wanted to take a bite so desperately! To taste the iron on her tastebuds, to drink the thick blood and quiet down her sudden unquenchable thirst. She gave a long lick to his neck, going for his jugular. Her mind was slipping, bowing to hundreds of years of carnal instinct.

“Miss Babicheva, please!” Georgi shoved her off firmly and stood up from the bench. Mila jolted forward, losing balance. Her flamboyant suitor towered nearby and was distractedly adjusting his trousers and brushing the nonexistent dust off his waistcoat. Heavy blush blossomed on his cheeks and he coughed a few times to clear his throat.

Mila’s phone chirped in that exact moment he was about to say something and she looked at it reluctantly.

It was Yuri.

“Ah— sorry,” Mila bit her lip, “I need to get this.”

**_Yuri:_ ** _Is he dead yet?_

_No._ **_:Mila_ **

**_Yuri:_ ** _You know I don’t mind breaking his neck. Did he do something?_

**_Yuri:_ ** _...I’ll be there in a minute._

_DO NOT COME OVER!_ **_:Mila_ **

**_Yuri:_ ** _You’re really getting old. You’ve become weak and pathetic._

**_Yuri:_ ** _I want to know what you did to the sap._

_I don’t kiss and tell._ **_:Mila_ **

**_Yuri:_ ** _Ok, you’re on your own. AGAIN - don’t come and cry on my shoulder._

**_Yuri:_ ** _I’ll ask him myself if you won’t. He’s got a grindr account as well, did you know that?_

_We all have one. Even Beka!_ **_:Mila_ **

**_Yuri:_ ** _SHUT UP! He would tell me..._

**_Yuri:_ ** _fuck!_

**_Yuri:_ ** _Talk to U l8ter GTG_

A hand was outstretched in front of her face as she peered up from her screen to apologize again. Georgi was collected and winsome again. The hesitancy lingered in his eyes as delicate as forget-me-nots, waiting for her decision, leaving it up to her if she decided to water them or squash them under her heels.

“Are you in need of my assistance, demoiselle? Shall we return to the mansion? They will start the fireworks soon and if we hurry up, we’ll get a good spot to view from. That is…if you allow me to keep you company.”

How on this long-lived earth did Mila feel a flutter in her heart again?

Oh, Mila needed help. Yes. Badly so. All the help she could get wouldn’t save her. This silly, old fashioned human swept her of her feet. This night wouldn’t be the one when she would sink her fangs into his neck. Yuri won’t let her live it down. She will have to rectify it at the earliest convenient chance. She’ll have to schedule a new date. There was no other way around it.

“Yes. I mean, I do. Just...let’s go inside, please.” She took his hand, letting his fingers wrap around hers in a manner she found pleasantly accepting. They made their way back to the house and Georgi was strangely quiet, holding his elbow free for her to hold onto. While she enjoyed the quiet the doubt entered her mind. Did she overdo it perhaps? Was his ego bruised after all?

His quiet strong voice snuck upon her suddenly. Kissing the back of her hand fervently and a gleam in his eyes accompanied his earnest proclamation. “I’m honored that you allowed me to spend more time in your delightful company. Thank you! I can only hope I’ll get further chances to enjoy this privilege.”

Ugh, too much. Georgi was just too much. Strong lavender syrup with seventy percent of sugar. Sweet weak acacia honey. The strongest rose turkish delight. Mila was choking already, feeling her fans rotting away. Too much. And to her utmost torment, she felt inclined… no, obliged! To schedule another date.

“I wouldn’t see it any other way.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! Let us know what you thought!


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